The Skillz Report

Livin' The Fantasy, 2017 Week 8

 

(originally written 11/2/17)

 

Disclaimer: this is about NFL football, specifically Fantasy football. Now's your chance to escape if this is not your thing.

I got two words..and one numeral...for you: Will Fuller V.

I had no intention of giving Fuller (of the Texans) any meaningful role on my fantasy team this year. In fact, he was hurt when I drafted him—which I ONLY did because I needed a half-decent WR with an early bye week. He was my #5 receiver; I expected to use him maybe twice during the year barring injury...if that.

But my #4 receiver Mike Wallace, a guy who produced at times in '16, had been absolutely useless most of '17. In Week 5, I decided to start Wallace against Oakland's iffy defense. While he did come through with 14 points, Fuller came off IR and exploded for 20...on my bench. 
Fuller's been in my lineup ever since, and in Week 8 he put up almost 25% of my entire point total (27.77). For layman comparison, this is like sliding your $1 bill in the vending machine and receiving three Pepsis down below.

However, as smart as those decisions were, my Zach Miller decision backfired in my face like a 1981 Pinto. You see, I liked the matchup of Miller against the Saints defense—and rightly so; he hauled in an easy TD pass against them. Problem is: Miller's leg exploded when he landed—goodbye, TD; zero points from Miller. (By the way, I'm instituting a 15-year NFL ban on Caucasian TE named Zach Miller; all currently in college must either switch to LB, change names, or change ethnicities.)

As the west coast afternoon games began, I found myself trailing big to my opponent, whose lineup got an EDT head start. But I wasn't too concerned—after all, I had star QB Kirk Cousins raring to go, along with a RB, WR and TE from the first-place Eagles. The Eagle trio did their part to narrow the gap, combining for 38 points.

But Cousins...I couldn't have done worse if DeMarcus Cousins, or even Scott Cousins, had been throwing that ball. (We know DeMarcus can throw; look at all those flying headbands. And Scott proved he can lay his body out for tough yards back in 2011. But I'm not here to talk about the past.) 

Kirk finished up with a pick-six, a lost fumble, and a paltry 8.5 points. This from a guy who'd averaged over 26 points the previous four weeks! WTF...
Meanwhile, my opponent ended Sunday with 117.42 points—with no Monday Night players to increase it further. Throughout the early afternoon, I'd been the projected winner by a wide margin—I mean, who could predict 8.5 points from Kirk Cousins?—but at Sunday's end, I'd tallied just 102.79 points. Still, with the Broncos' defense and RB C.J. Anderson going for me on Monday, a comeback was certainly doable.

Unfortunately, the Broncos' idiot QB Trevor Siemian worked his hardest to f--- me over. He threw not one, not two, but THREE foolish interceptions to the Kansas City Chiefs, teaming with two lost Denver fumbles to keep their offense (and Anderson) off the field—and trigger progressively louder and longer cursing fits from yours truly. 

 

And, of course, if Denver's offense is off the field, their defense is on the field...a lot. Worn out and repeatedly defending short fields, not even the Bronco D could prevent repeated KC scores—they gradually dropped from 10 fantasy points to eight.
As for Anderson, he isn't an every-down back to begin with, and once Denver fell so far behind, he became a no-down back—but, thankfully, not before he'd scratched out just enough points (nine) to secure my narrowest-ever win (119.79 to 117.42) and remain tied for the league's best record (6-2).

Not quite as sweet as three Pepsis, but I'll take it!