The Skillz Report

10 Terms I'd Like To See Flourish...

 

(originally written 5/6/11)

 

 

"Not the mama!” (popular catchphrase from TV show Dinosaurs)

 

Baby would refer to his oft-abused father by that term (while clanking him with a pot), and it still seems suitable for use against anyone trying to order us around. Examples:

 

NAGGING GIRLFRIEND: “You are so messy. You really need to clean this room up!”
SLOPPY BOYFRIEND: “I am cleaning nothing cuz you are not the mama!” 

Or:

STUFFY NEIGHBOR: “Turn that music down! It’s 8:00 and I’m trying to sleep!”
COOL NEIGHBOR: “I ain’t turnin’ down nuthin. You not the mama!”

 

 

“Janky”. (urban youth adjective)

 

I love words that can be used anytime and carry multiple meanings, and “janky” is one of those words. “Ew, why you friends with him? He janky.” It’d be great to see it expanded:

 

PRESIDENT OBAMA: “Today, U.S. troops stormed the mansion containing Osama Bin Laden and a number of his loyalists. We tried to capture him alive, but fool wanted to be janky. We were forced to take lethal action.”

 

 

“Word”. (shortened from old-school lyric “Word up”)

 

In the 1990’s, “word” was among the hippest things one could say. Like janky, it could be used multiple ways. It could mean “yes”, “I understand”, “I agree”, or even “that is the end of my sentence”. Somehow, it lost its way. I, for one, never stopped using it. All the way through high school/college/adulthood. I’ve got my co-workers, most of whom are in their 40’s, commonly using it. It’s succinct, it’s direct—let’s bring it back!

 

 

“By Crikey!” (Steve Irwin catchphrase)

 

Just because Steve’s no longer with us doesn’t mean his catchphrase has to go, too. It is basically the Down Under way of saying “Holy smokes!” Just think: Albert Pujols angry at popping out, letting loose a loud, accented “By CRIKEY!” as he slams his bat. 

 

 

“Poo”. (slang for defacation)

 

There’s so many slang terms for potty, but this one is the A) easiest one to say, and B) the least-disgusting sounding one. If you were given a choice, would you rather hear “Excuse me, where’s the restroom? I have to take a dump” or “Where’s your restroom? I must poo now”? 

 

 

“Slap you where you sleep”. (ambiguous)

 

This is a personal invention of mine, created during the waning moments of a “discussion” I had with my ex last year. I’m not even sure what it means, but when you’re in the heat of battle, weird stuff pops out: “One day loneliness is gonna creep up on you and SLAP YOU WHERE YOU SLEEP!” I then turned and strutted out of the room. 

Hey, I don’t know what it means. But it sounds tough and pointed. Next time you and your mate have a “discussion”, try to use it and give me feedback!

 

 

“Fiend”. (enemy)

 

NO ONE uses this anymore. Can’t speak for everyone but I’d be insulted to be called a fiend.

 

 

“Watch out there now!” (old-school slang)

 

Used by comedian J. Anthony Brown in his bit describing the difference between younger and older people greeting each other. Young people just bob their heads and say “‘sup”. Older people animatedly point and shout, “Hey, watch out there now!” Since I fall somewhere in the middle at present, I can use both and get away with it. Wish more people did.

 

 

“Shotgun Cain”. (nickname for Giants pitcher Matt Cain)

 

It is baffling how the longest-tenured Giant and one of its’ best players is still on the outside looking in when it comes to a kickass nickname. We have The Freak, The Panda, The Boss, The Bat, The Beard, Huff Daddy, etc. “Shotgun” Cain works so perfectly, and yet it hasn’t taken off like I know it can. Giants fans, it is on US, I suppose.

 

 

“Dada.” (baby babble from Josie)

 

This made the list because whenever Josie babbles while playing, people can’t get enough of it or her. Example:

WOMAN: Hi, cutie. What’s your name?
JOSIE: Dadadadadada.
WOMAN: Oh, that is SO CUTE!!! Here’s some (stickers, crayons, ice cream)

 

I’m thinking if I start doing it, maybe people will give me what I want as well. Example:

WOMAN: Hey, dude, what’s up?
ME: Dadadadada. Dadada da da.  
WOMAN: Oh, that is SO CUTE!!! Here, let me undress for you.

 

It’s worth a shot...