The Skillz Report

2016: Approaching The On-Ramp

 

(originally written 12/29/15)

 

 

Last year, I ceased creating year-specific goals because it's silly to wait until the calendar turns to start making changes/improvements to one's self/life. This year is no different—I will be asleep when the clock strikes midnight, and I will not be strutting around town parading the "new me" around come sunrise. 

So here, I'm just going to answer a few (slightly re-worded) 2016-related questions that have been thrown my way in recent weeks by curious parties:

 

"Skillz, what's up with TheSkillzReport.com in 2016?"
TSR is still very much alive; it went on hiatus while I worked on behind-the-scenes issues and improvements. The site is still my baby, and by spring I will be promoting it in every way possible—sponshorships, podcasts, even canvassing neighborhoods with bills. (If you have literally nothing else to do and are down to trek with me on these missions...I could use the company.)

 

"Skillz, you gonna do any more football games in 2016?"
I don't expect to, but if we have an especially good NFL playoffs and the itch returns—maybe, if I think it'll produce a good turnout (double-digit dudes.) More likely: I'll hook up with an existing football group and wow them with my fat-but-deceptively-athletic skillz.

 

"Skillz, ain't five years of bitterness enough? You still gon' fly solo in 2016?"
Next question.

 

"Skillz, is the Reduction over now that 2015 is over?"
Unlike my 2011 Reduction, the current Reduction 1.5 will not end at year's end. It will continue until I am 250 pounds, dead, crippled or all of the above. I've worked too hard to create good habits to stop now, and it's a lot more fun playing basketball with my boyz when they're not teasing me for being exausted five minutes in.

 

"Skillz, when we gonna kick it again?"
I know parental responsibilities and TSR sucked up the majority of my off-time this year—the number of times I just hung out with buds with zero children present in 2015 could (sadly) be counted on one hand. But some of the funds I've saved by forsaking fast food can now be directed toward stashing my kid in various groups (swimming, dancing, etc.)

Believe me, I know I need to follow my own oft-dispensed advice and live my own life independent of the kid, too. So to answer your question: likely soon.

 

"Skillz, how the Giants and the Warriors gonna do?"
The Giants will return to playoff contention—if they can keep off the disabled list. This will probably be Brandon Belt's last year with the team if he does not bust out and stay busted out. The entire infield is young and strong, and no one can argue management isn't still trying to win. However, Yusmeiro Petit will be missed more than anyone realizes now.

Golden State will win it all again—they have to, if for no other reason than I have to right the wrong of being cheated out of attending the 2015 parade. Damn you, BART! But I'm not here to talk about the past.

 

"Skillz, you gonna leave yo' Facebook up in 2016?"
It's too much of a distraction to leave up full-time anymore—whenever I'm working on TSR, I will find myself procrastinating on Facebook before I even know I'm doing it. I'll activate my page here and there, but not for long. There's nothing we can do there that we can't do via conventional e-mail and text, or hanging out.

 

"Skillz, what you gon' do if Trump wins the election?"
What the hell kind of retarded question is that? Do you want me to say I'll pack up and move to Japan? Cuz I won't—I'm too old to start using the metric system.

 

I will state one 2016-specific goal: to stay the hell away from doctors. Aside from my triannual cortisone injections—and medicine refills—I do not want to set foot inside a Kaiser Permanente next year. In fact, I want to forget my doctor's name by next December. So guys, if a football game is scheduled this winter...please be gentle.
There you have it, folks—a rough draft of 2016's script. The cast of characters will not completely match last year's but that's life, and I'm grateful for those who will continue to throw laughs, love and support my way. Good times ahead!