The Skillz Report

2010: Approaching The On-Ramp

 

(originally written 12/30/09)

 

 

The new year and decade are here.
Up front, I’d like to admit that I’m surprised I have lived this long.

 

Between my disdain for authority and tendency to be a smart-aleck, some assumed I’d make somebody’s day by jumping in front of their discharged weapon.

And if what came OUT of my mouth didn’t kill me, certainly what went INTO it could have, if it weren’t for serious dietary changes in the last five years.

 

But, barring a Shakesperian/Spikean tragedy, Skillz will make it to 2010.

I don’t know what WILL happen in the new year. 
I do know what I’d LIKE to happen.

 

 

PERSONAL

 

WHAT I’D LIKE TO HAPPEN: To continue on the exercise pattern I have closed 2009 on. I’ve lost seven pounds since late October, in spite of major culinary lapses, and if 20-25 pounds could miraculously vanish off my skeleton, nary a tear will be shed. My pal Phu did it. Why can’t I?

 

WHAT WILL LIKELY HAPPEN: With so many of my friends’ 30th birthdays coming up this year, there will likely be many celebrations. At these celebrations will be booze. Booze makes you fatter. See where I’m going with this?

WHAT I’D LIKE TO HAPPEN: Throughout 2009, I made a point to go places I’d never gone and learn things I never knew or had forgotten—including the types of bones in the ear, the story of King Edward, what a parabola is, and how to play spades (which I promptly forgot). More experiencing and learning is a primary goal.

 

WHAT WILL LIKELY HAPPEN: When my buddies Juan and Aldo approach me for the third straight year about snowboarding. I will again GUARANTEE my presence and then flake out because my shoes and gear don’t match or a similarly inane reason. I will renew my CPR certification after years of dormancy, but when the time comes to use it, my brain will have “taped over” the data with a recipe for Rice Krispie treats.

Old habits die hard, I guess.

 

 

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

 

WHAT I’D LIKE TO HAPPEN: For years now, Hirday and I have had an ongoing hoops rivalry.
Each of us are convinced we’re better than the other. 

Typically, the truth lies somewhere in the middle. Some days, we’re LOADS better than the other but overall, it’s a draw.

This year, thanks to my discipline and work, the superior player will be decided once and for all…in the favor of yours truly.

 

WHAT WILL LIKELY HAPPEN: We will kick off our annual 100 games of 1-on-1 tournament. Having actually stuck to his own diet, Hirday will suddenly come at me with sky hooks and soaring reverse layups not unlike LeBron James. 

He will get to 50 wins first, trash talk and celebrate, remind me of it every time he sees me for the rest of the year, and force me to permanently end our friendship…for three days.

 

WHAT I’D LIKE TO HAPPEN: For my mom to be able to hold my daughter while maintaining any kind of sensory connection to the rest of her surroundings. (In case of fire or something.)

 

WHAT WILL LIKELY HAPPEN: We will leave Josie on her porch, ring Mom’s doorbell, run, drive to Barbados and take a two-week vacation, and my mom will be so engrossed in her grandbaby she won’t notice we’re even gone until Day 10. 
(Love you, Mama.)

 

 

AUXILLARY

 

WHAT I’D LIKE TO HAPPEN: The Giants’ young hitters all find consistency, and when needed, HGH, giving desperately needed rudders to their stalwart pitching vessels. The team wins 95 games in a competitive N.L. West, knocking out the Dodgers in a three-game sweep to end the series.

 

WHAT WILL LIKELY HAPPEN: Fred Lewis becomes the first big-leaguer to ever strike out on two pitches. A nauseous ump declares the at-bat “hopeless” before banishing him back to the bench. Matt Cain will go 5-17 despite a 1.74 ERA. Not only does Mark DeRosa not work out, but he performs so poorly that other N.L. West clubs offer the Giants prospects in exchange for not releasing him.

 

WHAT I’D LIKE TO HAPPEN: For those occupying the world to stop killing each other over religious/political differences, or plain hate and ignorance. 

It could be argued there are justifiable reasons to take a life, but because someone is darker than you, prays to a different god, or wasn’t born where you were aren’t any of them.

If only these people could have seen my friends’ table at Wendy’s a while back. A black guy (me), flanked by Asians, whites, two Jews and even a guy from South Africa! 
Somebody should get the Israelis and Palestinians together, order some Frostys, throw in Bill Clinton for good measure, and watch the love unfurl.

 

WHAT WILL LIKELY HAPPEN: The killing will continue, and people will continue to not only preach, but breed ignorance and hate. We will never live in a picturesque world. 

All we can do is preach love and tolerance to our own children while practicing it ourselves. 
We’re all people, and we’re all in this battle together.

Happy 2010 and beyond, my friends and family.