top of page

© 2014 by TheSkillzReport.com. Proudly created with Wix.com

 

"" (December 31, 2016)

 

With my family at the movies...except it doesn't start. Angry people go to get refunds, while we go to the 1250. There, my mom is indecisive about what to do next ("I'll go in 10 minutes/I don't wanna go") and it sets me off; I rant to my aunt until she shows me a written tirade by soap character Bo Buchanan against Kobe Bryant, repeatedly referring to Kobe as "horny". Unmoved, I play Street Fighter II with my boy Fleazoe.

 

"" (December 30, 2016)

 

Random podnas of my cousin try to walk up in my place; I finally lose it and threaten the next effer who tries to enter. Nearby felons in jumpsuits hear this and start throwing ME over the rail...borderline nightmare.

 

Next, a tennis team uses a volleyball net to try risky Olumpic stuff until their coach forces them away, at which point Josie and I challenge two dudes in "lowered-net" tennis. 

 

 

"" (December 29, 2016)

 

Sideshow Bob wants me to watch old Simpsons episodes. Nuff said.

 

 

"" (December 28, 2016)

 

Shaq is doing stand-up, which consists of him going from wheezing to instantly dancing. I'm questioned by kids who I voted for before being "allowed" to leave home. Then I run into some soap characters on a prime time show and decide to join in filming uninvited, receiving a hug from Jacqueline Wood of The Bold & The Beautiful. Nice. Though barely worth mention, I admit.

 

 

"" (December 27, 2016)

 

Playing against the Phillies, I make a long barehand running catch behind second base. But while chasing down a ball in the corner, my right hand fingers get stuck in my mitt fingers, briefly handcuffing me to everyone's comic delight. Later, Mike Piazza and an old bullpen catcher fall down jogging to the dugout, and Bryce Harper warms up in the 1250 hallway.

 

 

"" (December 26, 2016)

 

A producer for Walker: Texas Ranger educates me on why the show changed: Sheree J. Wilson kept getting kidnapped and people were sick of it. On the show, Walker is told by villians they'll stop if he leaves Texas forever. Since he doesn't know what that means, he stays.

 

Finally, an arguing couple in a restaurant sit nearby, and the husband asks me to hold his money for him. Eh, sure, why not.

 

 

"" (December 21, 2016)

 

First, I'm on the A-Team punching guys in the face as we run to a helicopter. Then I force my buddy Juan to clean both sides of my windshield while holding his baby daughter.

 

 

"" (December 20, 2016)

 

At Subway, the staffer brings me four bags of chips when I only asked for one. Though I'm totally calm, his colleague makes a big production of "calming me down". Upon leaving, I'm so upset I just go in my room and shut the door—only to find a Terri J. Vaughn-type in my bed with her suitor. She eventually talks me into taking over for said suitor.

 

 

"" (December 19, 2016)

 

I'm delivering a package to my friend Monica; at first I'm going to leave it on the side of her house, but then George Wendt meanders by. So I instead enter the premises and leave the box in a closet.

 

 

"" (December 18, 2016)

 

In the 1250 driveway, I keep trying to enter the premises but am repeatedly confronted by WWE stars of the 80's looking to fight.

 

Once I finally get in, Josie's sister Grace escorts her in, and witnesses my loopy mother trying to sit on my lap, refusing to budge until I angrily shove her to the floor. Then we all dissect a 49ers receiver's poor route running leading to an interception.

 

 

Return To Top

Night Visions, December 2016

 

Codes: "IRL" = "in real life". "INV" = "in Night Vision", meaning untrue in real life. 

"Skip" means a sudden transition from one segment to another. "The 1250" references my childhood home, a (too) frequent setting for my visions. Josie is my daughter, and most of my life has been spent with Chicken and Alex as friends. Any other people referenced, past jobs worked at or life experiences are real unless otherwise noted. 

 

 

2019 Archive: Current Month

2018 Archive: January February March April May June July August September October November December

2017 Archive: January February March April May June July August September October November December

2016 Archive: January February March April May June July August September October November December

2015 Archive: January February March April May June July August September October November December

2014 Archive: May June July August September October November December

 

Night Visions Hall Of Fame

 

 

(Dates of awakening listed)

bottom of page